Wednesday. I am trying to fathom what I am supposed to do with the amount of work I’ve been given. Now that word has spread among the Brown and RISD student body of whom it is I happen to be the son of, it seems I have even less people to converse with.
There are times when someone or other tries to strike up a conversation. The topic, however always is Father. The nature that they approach me with smacks of ulterior motives. I’ve yet to find a genuine person that can get past my last name.
Girls giggle and smirk in class when I sit, the young men in class sneer or gawk with curiosity as if just being me, I were a sideshow freak. I am beginning to sympathize with the legendary “Elephant Man”. I shouldn’t say that. my plight is not nearly as bad.
If there were one person that seemed less preoccupied with the who and more with the what, it would be a miracle indeed.
I have gotten to the point of a near paranoid. I keep thinking someone is sneaking glances over my shoulder as I work in class, just to see what is going on in my head.
I hope tonight brings more sleep than the last two days. this worry is getting tiresome. I tried talking to Jules about it and his response is always the same.
“If you happen to be famous, for whatever reason, use it to your advantage. Surround yourself with the curios gawkers. Don’t let it get to you, just embrace it as a fact of who you are. You’ve been running all your life from your Father’s name. Its not something you’ll ever shake so start learning to live with it.”
I think even he is getting annoyed with me. I wish I could just let go of the feeling that everyone is against me or using me for information and curiosity.

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